Chapters

Understanding

There is NO understanding. None. In walking around her farm I saw sorrow everywhere. I saw it in her eyes and in her boy's eyes. I suppose that had a lot to do with it at the beginning. My desire to help. I really believed I could make her life easier. I thought that if I could eliminate some of her daily frustrations, make her life better then she would happy. I believed that she really had a soft center and that the outer shell was just for protection. If only she could have some relief and help. I decided I would do my best and do just that. Help.

I thought it was my lack of experience with children that is why I couldn't understand Adam, but I found out later, Adam's verbal skills were far behind that of other children his age.

Still holding my hand and looking sweetly into my eyes he said "Macinshelf?"

Not knowing what he said I blankly responded "Yes."

"Macinshelf?"

I looked harder at him trying to understand.

"Macinshelf, are you staying?"

I looked up at Cheryl with a puzzled face "What is he saying?" I asked trying not to insult him.

"He wants to know if you are staying for dinner."

I had not been invited to dinner and did not know what say. Looking back down I smiled at him.

"Well, are you?" She asked nicely.

"A, a sure. If you want me to." I responded tentatively.

"We wouldn't have asked ya, if we didn't want your company." Smiling she said still in a warm voice.

"That would be nice. Thank you."

Tilting her head she asked "Why is he calling you Macinshelf, is that your name?"

"Macinshelf?" I had just realized that I had not told them my name. "Macinshelf, well that is an interesting name. Where did he come up with that?"

"You didn't tell him?"

"Nope, I have no idea where it came from."

She looked over at Adam. "Adam? Who's Macinshelf?"

He pointed at me and with a big smile exclaimed "Macinshelf!"

"Well then Macinshelf it is. I'll call you Mac for short if you don't mind."

I laughed out loud. "I haven't been renamed before, but Mac it is."

We went up to the house. I took off my muddy boots and went inside. You walked straight into the kitchen. The smell of beef stew filled the air creating the feeling of the perfect country home. The fire in the wood stove sent warmth to my cold hands and frozen feet. It was nice to get warm.

"My wood stove is full of holes so I cannot have a fire." I said rubbing my hands and still facing the flames.

"You've never had a fire in your place?" She asked confused.

"I just bought the place. The stove is full holes and needs repair. Actually there are lot of other repairs needed too, including getting well working and replacing the pipes on top of many other things."

I told her a little of where I came from and how I ended up where I was. She made that same mocking laugh I'd heard from the old man. Like she knew something I didn't.

Still smiling she said "Well, ya better get THAT fixed before winter."

"I figure that if I can get the stove working at least I'd be warm."

"Sounds like you need a new stove."

I went over to the table and sat down. "How much is a new stove?"

"Boy, you don't know much do ya?"

I guess I didn't. I looked back over to flames. Frowning "Yeah, I guess I don't."

"Well, I can help feed you, but I can only pay you ten dollars an hour and only on jobs that we agree that is what you are getting paid for."

"Right. There are not much in the way of jobs here." I said still looking away.

"What about cutting and selling wood?"

"What do you mean?"

"Wood. You know, cutting up firewood and selling it."

I didn't have chain saw and I think at that point I'd only used one once. But the thought of earning real money appealed to me. Besides, how hard could it be? I mean if other people are doing it, I should be able to. I found my cabin didn't I? I was just as hard working and just as tough as the next guy wasn't I? This logic, however stretched, served me many times in getting jobs that were out of reach. Somehow in my head I could be an astronaut or heavy equipment operator or garbage truck driver, they all make good money, the list was endless. I figured that I'd just need sometime in that space suit or piece of equipment and I could pull it off, all the while conveniently forgetting about the education.

"I don't have a saw. Maybe that will be my first purchase." I said thoughtfully.

"I tell ya what, you can use mine and cut standing dead or downed trees on my land. In return for every cord you cut, you cut one me. This way you'll be helping me clear my land and helping me get firewood up for the winter."

I was now looking at the table again, listening to what she offered and it sounded good.

"That sounds great. I can do that."

We ate supper and with full belly and warmth on the inside I told her that I'd see her the next morning. I still had some things I wanted to look at up at my cabin and wanted to get home before dark. She told me about a short cut that shaved half of the time it would take to get back home leaving travel to just over an hour between houses. And to wear mud boots with warm socks tomorrow, it was supposed to be colder.

Bing was muddy mess. He had made great friends with the other dogs. It was good to see him being able to play. I put him in the back of the truck explaining to him that he was too wet. I started the truck and in his nervousness he jumped out of the back. I looked at him through the window gave a sigh and opened the door. He jumped in on top of me and moved to the passenger side and sat ready to go.

I smiled. "OK, my friend, but we are going to learn to ride in the back like a farm dog."

Off we went, chugging down a dirt road, wet and happy.